Fertility Coach Vicky Bonnefoy talks about Toxic Positivity

Vicky Bonnefoy, (@freedom_fertility.coach_vicky ) an incredible TTC warrior and an even more incredible fertility coach.Vicky has been on one hell of a fertility journey and has battled with endometriosis for years and years. Here, she talks about a phrase that doesn’t sit well with her at all….

I’m going to say out loud right now, right at the beginning of this article that TOXIC POSITIVITY is so very damaging and even deadly!

From the very beginning of my ‘problems’ when I was suffering from endometriosis is when I heard this TOXIC POSITIVITY (which I’ll put in capitals throughout) first.

I was in A&E and I was in severe pain and really frightened as to what was going on inside. Frightened and uncertain. I was about 18 years old and I was told then by a Gynaecologist that night that I should just be GRATEFUL that this excruciating pain was only at certain times of the month rather than living in constant daily agony. I left that hospital that night with a few painkillers and a whole host of other feelings I didn’t expect to come home with! I felt guilty for wasting their time, I felt embarrassed to have caused such a scene, I felt humiliated and ignored and I felt the burden of this TOXIC POSITIVITY and was left questioning myself as to why I didn’t feel more grateful than I did. Did it make me a bad person? Was I being selfish?

Skipping a few years It was apparent that this type of forced gratitude is the way others tried to get me to feel positive about any hard and emotionally exhausting situation I fell into

I was told to be grateful that I was still young, young enough to go through IVF and fertility treatment. Throughout my 10 year fertility journey, this was a running theme. With each cycle emotionally and physically exhausting me and pushing me to my limits, I would hear the words, AT LEAST it ended sooner rather than later on, or I should be just THANKFUL that I was able to do another round.

After losing my first baby, I was told AT LEAST it was early on in my pregnancy.

That I should be GRATEFUL that It wasn’t a real baby and was just cells or that my baby wouldn’t have felt any pain.

That I should be GRATEFUL that my baby wasn’t born with severe disabilities.

Finally the IVF worked on my fourth round and within 2 weeks of feeling overjoyed with the pregnancy test finally showing those dreamed of, ‘two lines’, I began to feel unwell.

Hyperemesis gravidarum!

Now this is just pure evil! I still find it hard to explain as words never seem to express the feeling physically or emotionally. I was dying! I felt physically that I was truly dying. I was sick constantly, all through the night, all day long and I couldn’t swallow my own saliva. I had a bowl either side of me for months whilst I was hooked up to a drip and feeding portal. One for saliva and one for sick.

My body rejecting the babies that I had become finally pregnant with, that I had fought for with all my might

My mind wanting to just be well again and survive this, whatever the costs. During my hospital stay a Nurse had visited me one night to change my drip and bag and hook me back up to the only thing keeping me alive at that point, she looked me square in the eyes and said that the sooner I start feeling GRATEFUL for being pregnant, the sooner I would be well again. She said that it was all in my head, psychosomatic and that I just needed to be thankful truly and it’ll all be over.

So I thought it must be me. It can only be my own fault for not being THANKFUL or GRATEFUL enough. I was killing myself and my babies because of how ungrateful I was. From then on a sense of blame was weighing on me heavily. I racked my brains as to how I could take control, end this suffering and torture and save myself and my babies.

Both my babies were born by emergency caesarean at 27 weeks gestation. They were over 3 months early and instantly I felt physically better, sipping on an orange squash, feeling like I might actually survive this. It landed again, but this time it had changed, GUILT!

It wasn’t someone telling me to be grateful although I did here that a lot around this time too

GRATEFUL that they weighed enough, GRATEFUL it was 27 weeks rather than a few weeks earlier and it was endless but this time I felt GUILT and a real sense of BLAME and RESPONSIBILITY.

It was my fault, I had not accepted my pregnancy and I did not feel thankful enough and so this had all happened to them because of me!

That’s how I felt, It’s not true, I sort of knew that logically but what’s logic got to do with this feeling!

Years and years of being told that I wasn’t thankful enough meant that I somehow was a selfish person who did this by not being grateful enough, not being more positive about the situations I found myself in.

TOXIC POSITIVITY is so very damaging as you can see from my own experience. It still hurts now, but it hurts that those people made me feel that way. That I took that on board and tried to amend the GUILT and SHAME by trying to be perfect. In apology to what I had done.

It invalidates how we feel in that moment and all that we are going through. We can be grateful for all that we have and still be hurting for the things that we don’t, or the things that happen to us that are out of our control.

We can feel grateful for the baby we already have whilst suffering emotionally with secondary infertility.

We can be grateful for our families and friends and the roof over our heads etc and still feel like we’ve been dealt a rough deal.

Grief and Gratitude can co-exist! It doesn’t have to be one or the other. Emotional pain can run alongside Gratitude

Here’s the thing with forcing Gratitude, we think logically that if we tell ourselves or remind ourselves of all we SHOULD be grateful for then we will be, which will eliminate the pain we might be feeling emotionally.

Would that work physically? If we had a Physical trauma and we reminded ourselves of all we should be grateful for, and said to ourselves “ at least it wasn’t as bad as…” “it could have been so much worse” would our pain disappear? Of course it wouldn’t but it seems we allow others and ourselves to remind us of the things we should be grateful for which in actual fact just highlights the very thing that’s hurting us.

It Invalidates our trauma, making us feel that we aren’t strong enough to just get on and deal with it, weak and over sensitive and not moving on from it.

TRUE GRATITIDE is felt in the moment, it’s authentic and pure and true to our feeling brain and we can then bring in our conscious awareness from our analytical side of the brain and acknowledge that moment and cherish it and be aware of how it makes us feel in that actual moment.

That’s the best kind of gratitude! Thinking to myself as part of my daily pep talk that I look forward to noticing real, authentic moments in my day that I will feel grateful for. This is the difference between TOXIC POSITIVITY to REAL GRATITUDE.

We’ve all got out of bed on the wrong side, and we’ve set ourselves up for the day not going to plan and it’ll be just one thing after another, right? What we’ve done here is put our subconscious mind on high alert! To watch out for danger and notice all that goes wrong in our day. We can reclaim that same power to benefit us by using a simple morning pep talk. Working our conscious mind to alert our subconscious mind to look out for the things that go right, noticing the authentic moments that we feel genuine gratitude. I teach my wonderful ladies how to take back that control with a blend of counselling, coaching and CBT, using techniques and a personal strategy for wherever they are on their fertility journey. A chance to feel truly heard and understood from someone who really gets it.

If you’re reading this and have had this TOXIC POSITIVITY shoved and thrown at you then I’m truly sorry you’ve had to face this on top of the pain you have already suffered.

THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT AND YOUR PAIN, FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCES ARE IMPORTANT.

Love Vicky x

Follow Vicky on her instagram page

 

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Cherish - UK

Diana and Jacqui are Consultant Nurse Sonographers and Directors of Cherish-UK.  They specialise in Gynaecology, Fertility and Pregnancy and both worked for the NHS for 30 years. They recognised a gap in care and decided to start trading as Cherish-UK in April 2011. Since opening the Cherish-UK team have helped hundreds of clients during their fertility journey.  They pride themselves on their professional, efficient and hassle free service which aids clients treatment requirements.  Many clinics abroad and in the UK recommend Cherish-UK to their patients as they recognise the high-quality service which is provided.

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Best Fertility Now

Best Fertility Now is a fertility media company, writing all about male and female fertility factors, global and personal interest stories, science, mental and physical health, all to give access to support and advice on fertility journey.

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Welcome to Fertility, Birth and Beyond.
Birth Doula, Postnatal Doula, Hypnobirthing Teacher, Placenta Remedies Specialist and Holistic Fertility Coach across Nottingham, Derby and Online.

They provide 3-Step Rewind sessions for Traumatic Birth Recovery.

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Desi Radio is a registered Charity working to promote the Punjabi language, culture and the integration of the Punjabi Community in the UK. It airs Educational topics for its listeners and Fertility First UK will be sponsoring and featuring in their Radio Listener Call-ins focusing on Infertility and the A-Z Journey of IVF.

Andrew Coutts - CEO of the International Fertility Company

Andrew Coutts is one of the fertility industry’s best travelled individuals having visited and worked with over 180 clinics worldwide. He is a regular speaker, writer and commentator on cross border fertility treatment and male fertility. Andrew is the CEO of the International Fertility Company (IFC), an independent consultancy which offers a concierge service to patients seeking Fertility assistance both overseas and in the UK. He is a PhD researcher at the Centre for Reproduction Research at the De Montfort University (DMU) in Leicester, UK, working on his specialist area, male factor fertility.

The Fertility Foundation

The Fertility Foundation is a UK Charity which aims to provide support and help to individuals and couples with advice, information and ultimately , practical assistance in accessing fertility treatment. The Foundation was created with the overwhelming desire to help as many people as we can to either start or extend their Family.

With the NHS funding cuts showing no signs of stopping they are creating a fund to provide financial assistance to individuals and couples who are struggling to afford treatment. They are more than a Charity that provides IVF Funding as they also run educational events across the UK.

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Enhanced Fertility Programme

Enhanced Fertility Programme was founded by Andreia Trigo RN BSc MSc, Fertility Nurse Consultant. Their vision is to improve global accessibility to personalised fertility care, at minimal cost to populations. Enhanced Fertility use research, clinical skills and technology to create products with global reach to make personalised fertility care accessible to all.

Natalie Coghlan

Having encountered my own fertility struggles in my mid-thirties, I took a deep dive into understanding how diet and lifestyle can support my desire to start a family. This resulted in me having two healthy children, one via IVF and one natural conception. Now a nutritionist and fertility expert, I help women going through their own fertility struggles, to realise their dream of a healthy pregnancy.

Work with me to gain the knowledge and strength to take back control of your fertility and feel empowered in knowing you are doing everything you can to increase your chances of a successful pregnancy.

Ian Stones

Ian Stones is considered one of the UK’s leading fertility experts helping couples wishing to start a family. Ian has extensive experience and training as a fertility acupuncturist with over 15 years in practice. Ian also works as a male fertility coach offering 1:1 support to men allowing them to properly understand their fertility and options.

Through his unique system, Ian helps couples to improve their lifestyle, diet and overall health to enhance their fertility. Ian is a passionate campaigner for equality in fertility services, recognising from over 15 years’ experience the unspoken toll on men going through fertility treatment.

Ian is also co-director of testhim, a unique platform offering men essential guidance around their fertility, testing and treatments.

Examen

Examen is a world leader in male fertility testing, based on its heritage of over 25 years in male reproductive health and fertility treatment research. We specialise in measuring sperm DNA fragmentation (known as sperm DNA damage) to help predict the likelihood of conception, miscarriage and the success of fertility treatment.

Sperm DNA damage is one of the most important factors causing male infertility. Examen has developed the Exact test to empower men to take control of their own fertility.

The Mancave

Kevin Button - "The Mancave"

‘The Mancave’ @them_ancave was created through personal experience and was to help break the stigma around male infertility. Why should we suffer in silence?!

“I believe anxiety and depression go hand in hand with fertility issues, and I honestly believe men have taken their own lives due to the fact they have had very little or no help or support after being told they are infertile. Because of this, I plan to make a difference and I want you guys to come along on this journey with me. Let’s do this together; for us, for those that have suffered in silence before us and for the men of the future, who hopefully won’t have to suffer alone.”

Kevin drives “The Mancave” project and is an Ambassador of Fertility Network UK.

ExSeed

“We’re on a mission to change fertility. At ExSeed Health we’re male health experts on a mission to address the 40% of all infertility that’s male related but currently remains largely neglected across the globe!

We built our company to utilize the latest scientific advances in fertility and health research to offer a range of innovative products, enabling men and couples to take ownership of their reproductive health in the comfort of their own home.

We’re also proud to break unnecessary taboos and create awareness around male fertility in the process by making the conversations on the male part easier and straightforward – as they should be.”

UR Vistahermosa

UR Vistahermosa is part of the UR International Reproduction Group, which currently carries out more than 11,000 reproduction cycles in Spain and boasts clinics in Alicante, Madrid, Malaga, Valencia, Murcia, Granada, Almeria, Cadiz, Jerez de la Frontera, Zaragoza, Oviedo, Cartagena and Lerida. It also has international units in Latin America in Managua and Mexico City.

At UR Vistahermosa we have multidisciplinary teams made up of gynaecologists, embryologists, geneticists, andrologists, anaesthesiologists, psychologists, nursing staff and assistants, so each case can be approached uniquely to achieve our goal – pregnancy.

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Tambre Fertility Clinic Madrid

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Dr Belinda Coker

Belinda has had an extraordinary career overcoming adversity whilst shattering the glass ceiling. Belinda completed her medical degree at the prestigious Imperial College School of Medicine. After spending three years training in obstetrics, gynaecology and sexual health at the highly-regarded Chelsea & Westminster Hospital, Belinda then spent two further years working in sexual and reproductive health and community gynaecology before training to become a GP.

A few years later, Belinda started to work in healthcare management, specialising in service design, patient experience, and safety, alongside her clinical practice. She was soon promoted to senior leadership roles within the NHS. After completing an Executive MBA program in Innovation, Entrepreneurship, and Design at Imperial College Business school and winning the IBM prize for innovation, design and entrepreneurship, Belinda reached the executive level and became a board director.

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Yemi Adegbile

 I am a Fertility Clinic Lead nurse with over 20 years in the fertility sector. I have worked in both the NHS and private sectors, including 17 years at Barts Centre for Reproductive Medicine and 5 years at the Assisted Conception Unit of Guy’s and St Thomas’.
My area of interest and passion is raising awareness in the black and minority ethnic communities about fertility issues, accessing fertility care and organising local forums to help singles and couples B.A.M.E patients navigate through their fertility journey.

  • Executive member of Nigeria Nurses Charitable association UK.
  • Organiser of bespoke packages for BAME patients who need Egg or Sperm donation both home and abroad.
  • Founder of Fertility Support Hub, a charitable organisation who raises awareness to the ethnic community about fertility issues.
  • Executive member of London Fertility Nurses Forum.

Dr. Zara Hosany - Psychologist, HCPC - Clin. Psych.

I am Dr Zara Hosany, a Clinical Psychologist with over 20 years experience working in mental health. I offer a range of interventions: individual work with adults, young people, parents, couples, family therapy; supervision for qualified professionals and trainees; coaching and mentoring, consultation work with organisations, and reflective spaces for groups.

I use a variety of approaches in my work, which includes CBT, DBT, IPT, Systemic, Narrative, Solution-focussed, Psychodynamic, Play and Attachment based therapies. I welcome explorations of race, culture, spirituality, sexuality, and other aspects of identity.

Andreia Trigo

Andreia Trigo

“My name is Andreia Trigo and I am a nurse consultant, researcher and founder of Enhanced Fertility. My passion for working in this area comes from my own diagnosis of infertility at a very young age

The journey to finding out what was happening in my body took years, several medical appointments, blood tests, invasive treatment and even surgery.

My goal is to help people be diagnosed sooner, get referred to fertility specialists that can help them and create a personalised treatment plan that increases their chances of conception.”

Natural Fertility Healthcare

Have you been trying for ages with no success? Have you had poor fertility test results? Are you feeling desperate and like you left it too late? Maybe guilty for having a career or not looking after your body? Do you feel like hope is fading and in a panic to find a solution quickly? Do you feel alone and fearful much of the time? You’ve tried so much as a couple and feel you failed in some way?

Do something really positive now to overcome the challenge and desperation you feel.

​Mama Be works with and through these issues to help restore your body’s natural health and fertility.

Regardless of whether you have suffered from unexplained infertility, secondary infertility, low AMH results, failed IVF, PCOS endometriosis, hormone imbalance, have poor hormone and/or sperm results, or even miscarriage issues treatment is possible.

International Fertility Company

The International Fertility Company (IFC) is a concierge based service assisting patients to identify and access the most appropriate fertility treatment at home or abroad. Working across 24 countries and with 180 clinics. IFC has an experienced team of former patients, medics, therapists and coaches who provide bespoke packages of care, support, treatment and information.

Caroline Biddle (Med)

Caroline worked as a secondary school drama teacher for 9 years. During a period of three years, she went through fertility treatment before becoming a mother to her son. She experienced two very different styles of support, where neither school had a fertility policy in place which left her feeling both vulnerable and frustrated.

Caroline is committed to changing the way fertility issues in teaching are managed.

Since her career in teaching Caroline has gone on to deliver training to staff across NHS Trusts. She is also a visiting lecturer at two Universities.

Caroline blogs weekly about fertility issues. She supports a community of teachers across various social media platforms and regularly interacts with them.

Your Trusted Squad

Your Trusted Squad is on a mission to transform the experience of infertility for women and couples who are trying to start or grow their family.

​Your Trusted Squad was founded by Dr Belinda Coker, an experienced GP and Medical Director with a wealth of expertise in fertility, women’s health, customer experience and clinical quality spanning 20 years.

Many of Belinda’s personal experiences of seeking healthcare for infertility, recurrent miscarriages, endometriosis and adenomyosis were difficult, disappointing and sometimes traumatic. After speaking with so many women who complained of their experiences when trying to receive help for fertility and matters related to their reproductive health and after following her heart, Belinda decided to build a unique service that delivers on excellence, quality and encompasses a personalised, holistic experience for clients.

Prof Peter Hollands

Professor Peter Hollands PhD (Cantab)

Peter trained at Cambridge University under the supervision of the co-inventor of IVF and Nobel Laureate Professor Sir Bob Edwards FRS. His PhD was in stem cell technology with a focus on the transplantation of stem cells from the developing mouse fetus. His post-doctoral position was as a Senior Embryologist at Bourn Hall Clinic which was the first IVF clinic in the world. Peter has been the Scientific Director of Cells for Life in Toronto and Smart Cells in the UK and was HTA Designated Individual for Smart Cells. He has carried out research and clinical practice in stem cell technology and IVF and has written numerous papers and book chapters on stem cell technology and IVF. Peter has written a book on stem cell technology for the general public called ‘The Regeneration Promise’ which was published in December 2020. This is the first of a series of books on medical science. His second book ‘The Fertility Promise’ was published in 2021 and is an explanation of IVF and assisted reproduction for the general reader.

Nadine Baynes

As Director and Head Psychotherapist of not-for-profit organisation, Lighthouses Therapy Services, I have met with and supported hundreds of bereaved parents of baby and infant loss. Grieving the loss of a pregnancy or a baby can be very complicated – parents can feel confused, angry, isolated, mis-understood and overwhelmed. I can relate to this having been through a miscarriage many years ago.

With therapy you will realise you don’t have to suffer or feel alone with your pain.
Whether you are grieving an early pregnancy loss, still-birth, failed fertility treatment, ectopic pregnancy or compassionate induction, we can help and are here with open arms and big hearts.

Member of National Council of Psychotherapists (Accredited)

Professor Joyce Harper - Author/Educator/ Academic /Scientist

Joyce Harper is Professor of Reproductive Science at the Institute for Women’s Health, University College London. She is head of the Reproductive Science and Society Group and leads the International Women’s Day events at the Institute. She has worked in the fields of fertility, genetics, reproductive health and women’s health for over 30 years. She is passionate about education and discussion of all aspects of women’s health but especially at three key stages: puberty, the fertile years and the menopause. She regularly appears in the press, on radio and TV. She is the mother of three sons born through IVF. Her latest book – Your Fertile Years – was published in 2021. She is founder of the International Fertility Education Initiative.

Sheila Lamb

Sheila Lamb - Author of the 'This is' series and Co-author of 'Infertility doesn’t care about your ethnicity'

“As a previous fertility patient who finally had my rainbow baby through donor egg ICSI, I am writing and publishing the ‘This is’ series of books sharing honest, raw emotions of those going through infertility, IVF/IUI and loss for three different but connected audiences.”

Marcin Smietana - Reproductive Researcher

As a sociologist, I have been doing research with LGBTQ+ families in the UK, US and Europe for almost a decade and a half now. To further the cause of reproductive justice, I have also been using my research for the benefit of LGBTQ+ families as well as people who help them have children, such as surrogates, donors and others. I am a senior research associate in the Reproductive Sociology Research Group at the University of Cambridge, where I have been since 2016, following my postdoc research at UC Berkeley and PhD at the University of Barcelona. I have done research first of all with gay men who create families through surrogacy and adoption, but I have also worked with lesbian and trans parents. I’m also part of the LGBTQ+ community myself. I’m happy to share my knowledge and experience with LGBTQ+ intended parents and families, or direct you to relevant resources and organizations, so do feel free to email me at ms935@cam.ac.uk.

Lisa Allison - Fertility First Surrogacy Ambassador

Surrogate mother, specialist fertility counsellor in training, surrogacy mentor and advocate.

Passionate about practically assisting and emotionally supporting those struggling to make families or suffering with fertility issues. You can email me at Lisaallison@hotmail.co.uk

Two Dads UK

We (Wes and Michael) are Dads to our children, Katie, Talulah and Duke. Talulah and Duke were born with the help of our amazing Surrogate Caroline, (and our incredible egg donors). We’re on a mission to help raise awareness of Same-Sex Parenting and help normalise our own modern family, as we hopefully help shine the spotlight, positively on families like ours, with either two Mummies, two Daddies, one Mummy or one Daddy.

The foundations of TwoDads UK were firmly created by us speaking out, and campaigning for change for not only us, when we were on our quest to become Daddies, but for all those that follow us on their own route to parenthood or fertility journey. We also believe that through our work on social media – we can use those platforms to raise awareness of particular causes, charities or interests – which later become our missions.

My Surrogacy Journey

Michael and Wes are the co-founders of My Surrogacy Journey and are Dads to their two children born via UK independent Surrogacy- Talulah in 2016, and Duke was born in 2019.
They understand that there is a growing need for Surrogacy support globally, with surrogacy births growing year on year in the UK, and parental orders of those children born abroad also reflecting similar increases.
Michael and Wes are also no stranger to campaigning for change, in relation to the Surrogacy Law Reform in the UK , Government policy related to surrogates and intended parents and also educating Healthcare professionals in relation to UK Surrogacy.

Claire Caldow

Emotional health and wellbeing support whilst trying to conceive can be incredibly valuable to reduce overwhelm, to regain hope, process feelings, build resilience and improve relationships and to move more peacefully through medical investigation or procedures.
For individuals and couples who are pregnant following a difficult fertility journey, with experiences of loss or ready to take a healing journey to parenthood, emotional wellbeing support offers a safe, growth filled space through to the fourth trimester.

I offer a blend of coaching, counselling and therapeutic support with embodied and expressive approaches for those who wish to explore this way. My training and background is in Psychology, Counselling/ Psychotherapy and Coaching working in the UK and overseas for over 15 years. Experiencing my own fertility challenges, IVF and pregnancy loss led me on my own healing and therapeutic process.

Sian Elizabeth

Sian is the founder of Renew Holistic Health and takes a keen interest in helping women restore their metabolism and support hormonal health. This can mean finding relief from issues such as PCOS symptoms, Endometriosis symptoms, addressing digestive issues, supporting clients to sleep better, have more energy that’s sustained throughout the day, create better habits, mitigate stress as much as possible and learn to manage it, improve mindset to reach goals, help clients show up better for themselves and their loved ones and achieve overall vitality in a non-restrictive way. Supporting our hormone health, breaking through these barriers, preparing our bodies for pregnancy, birthing a nourished baby; everything from conscious pre-conception to birth and the years after, requires this whole-body health approach. As a qualified Health Coach Sian’s role is to motivate, empower, and educate along the way, so clients feel empowered to improve their reproductive and overall health.

Sarah Byrne

I am a Menstrual Cycle Coach who teaches women business owners how to harness the power of their natural energy cycles to avoid overwhelm and burnout and create more success in their lives and businesses.

Joanna Sinclair, FF UK Founder and CEO

I am a lecturer, fertility coach and practitioner that helps support and educate both men and women on a journey to create a family. Helping to optimise your physical and emotional health and wellbeing, enhancing your fertility to give you the best chances of conception and a healthy pregnancy. I have lived and experienced a long fertility journey, I remember only too well the emotional impact and the pain. I help reduce the stress and anxiety, maximise the benefit of nurturing the physical and emotional health together, share tools and techniques for this journey, and beyond to reach the goal of a family. 

Vanessa Hurrell

I am a psychotherapist registered with the International Council of Psychotherapists.
I have a Diploma in Transpersonal Therapeutic Counselling from Clearmind International Institute and a Certificate in Psychodynamic Counselling from Chichester Counselling Services.
I have attended local and international workshops on leadership and purpose and have supported others in their workshops.
I am currently studying and working towards incorporating shamanic healing into my therapeutic work and I am training as a trauma informed specialist. I have been through my own fertility journey and have come to understand that my experiences have been a gift to me and have given me an awareness of some of the challenges that life can bring.

Jo Dalziel

I am a fertility coach and hypnobirthing specialist. After facing my own uphill struggle to conceive, many aspects of my life were affected and during this time no emotional support was available. I believe the mind body connection and your emotions play a crucial role in your fertility success, be that naturally or through assisted conception. When I heard about the Freedom Fertility Formula I wanted to train so others could feel less anxiety on their own fertility journey.

Steven Britton

Steven Britton

Fertility intelligence coaching can directly impact egg health, improve sperm mobility, boost fertility, healthy pregnancy and much more.

How does this work?
The process starts by firstly assessing you and your partner mental & physical wellbeing.
This is then followed by eliminating any misconceptions of actions and influences that hinder your fertility, thereby also revealing the genetic setpoint to influence/control positive outcomes.

At this point the foundations are set, we then focus on optimising relationships with yourself and others (romantic or otherwise) emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically.

Finally diet and nutrition can play a very important role in the quest to getting pregnant so I will make sure that even this area you will feel confident and more in control of your body.

Sarah Laver

After working as a clinical embryologist for many years, seeing couples struggling with their fertility, Sarah was driven to find alternative ways to support them on their journey. Through studying Psychology, and Personalised Nutrition, she discovered the transformational impact that diet and lifestyle changes can provide, especially when behaviour change is supported. She is now on a mission to share her knowledge, supporting those trying to conceive.

Sarah is now a BANT Registered Nutritionist and Registered Nutritional Therapist, specialising in fertility. She is the founder of The Embryologist Nutritionist, helping couples, and single females, regain control of their fertility, and maximise their chances of a healthy pregnancy. Sarah takes a holistic view of a couple, or client’s, situation and, together, they create a bespoke, personalised plan that works for them and their needs.

Salma Khanom - Counsellor and Psychotherapist (BACP)

Life events, experiences and relationships can have an impact on how we feel within ourselves making it difficult to cope day to day. Therapy can help us understand these experiences, helping one gain insight and perspective. Finding understanding can be powerful in prompting change. I work with my client to identify issues within their life that may contribute to distress or problems.

I am BACP accredited Counsellor and Clinical supervisor. My core training is in the Integrative model, since qualifying I have completed further training in CBT, CfD, EMDR (all nhs approved) models. I take a flexible approach when working with clients adjusting my approach according to my clients needs. I aim to work in a collaborative way with clients as I believe this can help my clients feel safe and held.

Aisha Balesaria - mindbodyrevival_coach

Aisha is a Certified Transformational Coach and the founder of mindbodyrevival_coach Aisha spent ten years trying to conceive – she underwent surgery for endometriosis, had over 11 failed rounds of IVF and multiple miscarriages. Eventually, she left the process without a baby. “Involuntary childlessness is very misunderstood and most individuals don’t receive the support, empathy and acknowledgement they deserve”. Moving forward, Aisha wanted to use her experience to empower others on a similar journey to her own. Aisha is a writer and Co-author of the book entitled, ‘We Are One in Eight’ she has written numerous blogs and articles about her personal healthy journey and experience with infertility. She has spoken on global platforms and several podcasts to raise awareness about childlessness.

Theresa Davies

Theresa is a fully qualified Counsellor and is registered with both the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP) and the British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA). Each fertility journey is unique and different people respond to fertility issues in different ways. In fact, the way you feel may change over time – sometimes even hour by hour – which is why the fertility journey is often described as an emotional rollercoaster. Our counselling sessions will help you to understand these feelings and gain a sense of acceptance of your feelings whatever they may be.

Paula Lavandeira

Paula is an International Fertility Coach and Hypnobirthing Teacher, and a Diabetes Specialist Midwife. She has been a passionate midwife for over 11 years now and with another 10 years as a nurse previously. Her passion is to help mums to overcome their fears and preconceptions about childbirth and motherhood so that they can have the best experience. Hence, she founded the Nurtured Munchkin, to provide full antenatal and postnatal courses for parents. Paula worked as a Senior Research Midwife at UCLH for 5 years, participating in multiple studies, including a pilot study NIPT which was later introduced to the NHS. She also offers baby massage and yoga. Paula recently received an award for Best Antenatal and Hypnobirthing Courses Provider 2020.

Manali Hirani

Manali Hirani - Fertility Coach and Podcaster

Helping women and couples get pregnant naturally, in a healthy way and with minimal medications to enhance their fertility.

“Women accessing a supported mind-body program were over twice as likely to conceive as those who didn’t. Of those women that got pregnant, 76% did so naturally (without medical intervention) within 12 months despite their age, the number of years of trying and diagnoses” – As per the study conducted by Harvard University.

Manali is also the head of IVF Babble in India.

Lighthouses Therapy Services

We are here to offer support to those who have been through miscarriage, still-birth, neonatal death, SIDS, ectopic and molar pregnancy and for those who need support, post-termination.

For women, men, couples and grandparents just like you who are hurting and feel that no one understands the deep psychological pain you are experiencing, we are here.

Theresa Davies Counselling

Sometimes life can feel overwhelming and often, when we speak with our friends and family, we worry about how being honest about our worries, thoughts and feelings may effect them.

​I understand that for many people, seeking out a counsellor can feel very daunting. Maybe you feel that you should be able to cope on our own, or that other people have worse problems that are more worthy of counselling. However, sometimes we all need some extra help, and I am here for you during those times.

Belle Birth & Fertility

Fertility coaching – Your Fertility Journey Is Unique.
Leave anxiety behind & hold on to your dream.

Hypnobirthing – Calm & Relaxed Antenatal Education.
Embrace the beauty of birth with confidence & composure

The Embryologist Nutritionist

Harness the power of nutrition and lifestyle to regain control of your fertility.
Stop feeling exhausted, alone, and frustrated with your body. Are you embarking on IVF / IUI and desperate to maximise your chances of it being successful, but feeling overwhelmed about how to do so?

​We hear you!

​After seeing many individuals go through assisted conception treatments, as an embryologist, we can empathise with what you’re feeling. We are here to share with you the transformational impact that nutritional and lifestyle changes can have, so that you can maximise your chances of achieving a healthy pregnancy, naturally or through assisted conception, even if you feel like you’ve already tried everything.

Nua Fertility

Deborah Brock the founder of Nua Fertility states her mission is “To provide education and innovative products with a microbiome focus which will support people on their fertility journey. We focused on our nutrition, lifestyle, fitness, emotional and overall, well being. This combined with the help of science (and some amazing doctors), culminated in the arrival of our beautiful daughter.

My experience gave me an insight into the reality of fertility problems that many of us face. My search for solutions grounded in science led to the importance of nutrition for fertility and the amazing world of the microbiome and microbes and how they are a key determinant of our fertility health.”

Endometriosis South Coast

The charity Endometriosis South Coast was born out of a need for support on a grass roots level. We have online support groups and now the world is opening up again we are going to train support group leaders to provide in person groups.
We regularly hold educational webinars, and make sure we are at all of the conferences to ensure we have the most up to date information about endo.
We are developing educational resources for businesses, schools, and GP’s.
But our ultimate goal is to ensure all people with Endometriosis and Adenomyosis are receiving the best holistic care and support for their conditions, and know that there is more than just surgery needed to help.

Jodie Hughes

I’m Jodie and I am a Health Sciences Research PhD student that is focussed on Health-Related Quality of Life in people with Endometriosis (crazy I know right) and founder of the charity Endometriosis South Coast.

In 2014 at the ripe old age of 30 after spending the entirety of my adulthood as a chef, I drunkenly applied for university because Endometriosis changed my life. I couldn’t work, I was a single mum. And quite honestly, I was at the lowest I had ever been with depression eating at my very core.

I am researching how Health Related Quality of Life differs in a range of sample groups of Endometriosis patients.

Dr. Amina Hersi

Dr. Amina Hersi - General Practitioner and Expert on PCOS

“When I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) over 10 years ago I remember it being such a confusing time. Through my years as a doctor, I came to understand the importance of diet and lifestyle in managing such a complex condition.”