Conception is all about the physical connection. The problem is, as so many of you will be able to relate to – when you have been TTC for what seems like way too long, and it just isn’t working, the physical connection loses its appeal, which can then affect the emotional connection
As we all know, infertility is draining. It wears you down, it can make you feel like you are “broken”. The constant repetition of “failure” chips away at not only your hope, but your self-worth, and instead of nurturing ourselves, we blame ourselves.
TTC also puts so much pressure on relationships. How many times have you looked at your partner and thought “I really can’t be bothered!”. Yes, you love each other, but the fire can so easily go out when you are only connecting to try and conceive.
So how do you and your partner stay connected when you really don’t feel yourselves? How do you show your partner some much needed love if you can’t find any for yourself?
We turned to Sonia Acheson and asked her how we can re connect with both ourselves, and our partner during such a difficult time.
Over to Sonia….
I want to share with you a beautiful collection of articles inspired by Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. Let me explain, if you are unfamiliar with the 5 Love Languages here is a quick snippet of how Gary Chapman developed them and how they can enrich your life, as they have done for so many of my relationships and, the most important one – the one I have with my Self.
Gary Chapman, Author of “The Five Love Languages” discovered / believes that we have 1 main love language that we resonate with predominantly. He learned, over years working with couples that they would offer their language of love to their partner but often would not be received as desirably as they had hoped, because their partners love language was different to theirs.
So, the 5 Love Languages outlined by Gary Chapman are:
Physical Touch
Quality Time
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation and
Receiving Gifts
So, for example, if my preferred way to feel love was Physical Touch I would respond positively to hugs, kisses, cuddles, holding hands, shoulder rubs and I may then offer this action of love to my partner. However, if my partner’s love language was not the same as mine and it was gifts, for example, they would feel love when they received a bunch of flowers, a piece of jewellery or would really value being taken out to the theatre and having dinner paid for them, you can see how our love languages are not matching. Once we know this it can be an absolute game changer to the enrichment of any relationship.
The most important relationship you have today is the one with your Self so let’s dive into a delicious 5-week collection focussing on one of the 5 Love Languages each week, showing you how best to enrich yourself with love and along the way discovering what works best for you for your needs to be met.
As we open this dialogue with your Self you will discover how you need to be loved, cared for, nourished and nurtured.
So, let’s begin this beautiful journey of how you can nurture and nourish your Self in this way and maximise all 5 Love Languages to work for you.
This week is all about Physical Touch
Physical Touch can be and is often a beautiful way of being physically comforted. A holding of hands, a shoulder rub, a hug, an embrace. It is a warm, loving feeling when we are being comforted and held in a Physical Touch moment simply because it is vital for our well-being and basic survival needs. So, what if I was to suggest to you that you could provide this level of comfort for yourself? If you were to close your eyes and feel into the idea of holding yourself, what does this look like for you, what does this feel like for you? Can you imagine a way that you can hold yourself? Comfort yourself?
Take that idea, the first picture you saw, the visual image that just sprung to mind . . . that is your opportunity my darling. If nothing did spring to mind this is okay too. Sometimes it can take time to remember that we are also allowed to have and receive a little tender loving care from ourselves too. It’s okay for us to receive and have our needs met. When I first tried this, it raised quite a lot of emotion within me as it was an unfamiliar realisation that I too was able to have my needs met, I too was allowed to feel comforted and held without question.
Close your eyes, take a gentle loving breath in, now think about holding yourself in some way, as you breathe out really allow this idea to flow through your body.
How was it? Was it possible? Can you imagine holding your own hand, cupping your face, rubbing your neck, or bringing your hands to your heart or embracing your tummy?
This may, to begin with, sound or feel a little unfamiliar and for some even awkward. But let us just go with this for a moment. As with many practises they can take time to get used to and with all new things, the practise of consistency is half the battle! Respect and honour yourself here too as this may not be right for you right now, and it may just take some time to find it possible. This is okay.
Let’s have a play.
How would you comfort a friend, a loved one? Would you ask them if they may appreciate a hug, you may put out your arms and signal an eye movement to suggest coming in for a hold? Approach them gently with a soft gentle rub on the arm moving into the shoulder. Was this easier to consider?
So, open your heart up to the idea of honouring and respecting yourself with the same courtesy, the same kindness and the same willingness to receive love just as you so freely give it. Do what feels right for you.
You are at the forefront of your wellness, so please do always put yourself first.
I begin with an intention. For me, it is so very important to make a pledge to myself, a pledge of gentle, loving kindness that what I am about to receive or be open too is only for my highest good and my wellness. This encourages and opens my heart to receive and build a trusted connection with myself. So, without over thinking it take a breath in and feel into what your body needs currently.
Whatever your first thought is, go with that. A tender stroke of the leg, bringing your hand to your heart centre, rubbing your ear, stroking your hair. Somewhere that you can connect one body part to another body part. It’s all about the Physical Touch. So, any way you can connect your body back to your body is a start.
Don’t question it let’s just do it
Rub your hands together so you begin to feel a little heat between them, you’ll feel the energy building, you will feel a little pull between them. Possibly even some tingling. Know this is your energy and the power and energy that you hold within you to heal. Take a gentle breath in and wherever you imagined, thought of, or had that gut feeling image came to you in your heart, connect to this space.
Take a gentle breath in. Slowly. Deeply. Relax now and fully surrender into the feeling.
As your body welcomes the touch of your hands. It may feel warm, it may tingle, it also may feel quite unfamiliar and unsure. This is okay too. Slowly does it. With every breath in visualise a warm abundance of light flowing through your body. Invigorating you. Nourishing you. Filling you up. Every part of you being flourished with unconditional love. With every out breath allow the darker matter or thoughts to tenderly release. Bringing your attention back now to your touch, your holding of your Self and your connection back to You.
Hold onto this feeling of being held, a Physical Touch from yourself to yourself. Embrace and welcome this loving feeling. Unconditionally coming from you to you. Loved. Held. Supported. Protected by You.
Trust in your Self here. Surrender into the feelings and the emotion. The tender connection back to Self here is one of the most precious practises we can hold for ourselves.
This practise can be achieved anywhere. I do this at work. The wonder of this practise is that it is available to me at any time. I can self sooth. I can self-care here. I can self-love in any given moment of a potential busy overwhelming time and a need to be with me.
The wonder about this Self-care practise means that no one else needs to know it’s happening. It is just you, your body, your energy, your wellness. Nourishing and nurturing you simply when in those moments you need to be reminded, as you learn deeply that you are safe, held and comforted by your Self.
In a moment of overwhelm or heightened emotion, I can simply place my hand on my knee, my elbow, or my wrist and bring myself right back into my heart. It is an immediate resource I have here, connection back to my Self, my heart, my soul, my love. I know I am safe. I know I will be okay, and, in this moment, I feel love because I am Love.
This is a priceless Gift for you to give to your Self. Practising your own Physical Touch. Let me know how you get on.
Next week, Sonia will be talking to us about quality time.
Read more from Sonia:
How Sonia can support you:
Kinetic Chain Release Therapy – Aligning and Balancing your physical body to minimise pain and regain your overall strength, power & mobility back into your Body & Energy
1:1 Distant and Hands on Energy Healing
Meditation / Grounding Experiences
Inspirational Speaker
Menstruality Awareness mentor
Connect with Sonia via her social pages, onFacebook and Instagram
The post The Love Languages Collection. Lesson 1. Physical Touch appeared first on IVF Babble.
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