A growing number of single women are turning to fertility treatments, finding empowerment and liberation in the choice to become parents on their own. For many, the decision is a blend of pragmatism, resilience and a reimagining of traditional family structures.
A Life-Changing Push
For Amy, 45, the Covid pandemic became the catalyst to pursue motherhood independently. “I’d been thinking about it for a while, and with Covid, I thought: ‘I’m never gonna meet anybody,’” she shares. Determined not to settle for a rushed relationship, Amy opted for fertility treatment and was successful on her first embryo transfer. She now has a three-year-old daughter.
“I think doing it without a partner was actually easier,” Amy reflects. “There was no one else to take my stress out on or complicate decisions—I just focused on what needed to be done.” While some friends who underwent IVF with partners faced significant relationship strain, Amy embraced the simplicity of going it alone.
Her choice brought unexpected empowerment. “When people asked, ‘Did he leave you?’ I could proudly say, ‘Nope, I did this on my own.’”
A Growing Trend
Amy is one of a growing number of women redefining parenthood. According to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, the number of single women in the UK alone undergoing fertility treatment has more than tripled over the past decade. In 2022 alone, 4,800 single women sought IVF or donor insemination, compared with 1,400 in 2012. Fertility treatment among same-sex couples has also doubled in that time.
Different Journeys, Shared Resilience
For some women, like Guardian columnist Emma Brockes, the decision felt natural. A lesbian and mother of nine-year-old twins, Brockes found comfort in knowing that external help was always part of the equation. “For lesbians, fertility treatment doesn’t feel unnatural—we’re going to need assistance anyway,” she says. But even for her, navigating the process alone was deeply personal. “I wanted to do it solo. It just depends on where you are emotionally.”
For Jennifer, 45, the decision to pursue IVF as a single woman is still on the horizon. After battling breast cancer last year, she’s given herself one more year to take the plunge. “Dating at this age is almost impossible, and I want a family,” she says. To prepare, Jennifer earned a master’s degree to secure a better-paying job. “If I’m doing this alone, I need to afford not just the treatment but also single motherhood.”
While she finds the option liberating, Jennifer doesn’t see it as entirely empowering. “I’m grateful for the freedom science and society have given single women, but I’d still prefer to be doing this with the love of my life.”
The Hard Realities
For some women, the path is fraught with emotional and financial challenges. Helen, a 40-year-old civil servant in Scotland, began IVF alone after surviving domestic abuse and wanting a second child. “I’d rather do it alone than risk rushing into another unhealthy relationship,” she says. But after multiple failed treatments and mounting costs, Helen is unable to continue. “I wish I’d frozen my eggs at 30. More women need to know that IVF isn’t a guarantee.”
Breaking Barriers, Embracing Choice
As more single women take control of their reproductive futures, societal perceptions are slowly shifting. While shame and stigma around single motherhood persist, women like Amy, Emma, Jennifer, and Helen are reshaping the narrative.
Their experiences highlight both the opportunities and challenges of this path. From financial preparation to emotional resilience, the journey requires careful thought and courage. For many, the choice to parent alone isn’t second-best—it’s a reimagining of what it means to build a family.
In the words of Brockes, “Not doing something because of shame or stigma is almost always the wrong choice.” For these women, embracing their own path to parenthood is the ultimate act of liberation.
Are you a single mother using IVF and would like to share your story? We w0uld love to hear from you. Are you considering becoming a single mother using IVF? If yes, why not chat with one of our experts for guidance and potential next steps? Email mystory@ivfbabble.com or DM on @ivfbabble
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